You wouldn't like his face either

-I kicked a solid pumpkin that I assumed had been carved because I didn't like his face. Turns out it was drawn on there.  -I shake fists that are meant to be bumped -I got 3rd degree sun burns on my feet because I got hungry and walked my ghostly feet for hours on the beach back to the place I was staying  -I started a business in the height of a recession  -I picked my college major by flipping through the book and looking for something with no math and no chemistry -I order things off menus I don't want -I've punched more inanimate objects than I can count -I taught my younger brother to drive on Challenger's track because I didn't want him to worry about hitting light poles in the parking lot (or maybe because I thought it was funny) -I bought a watch at Wal-Mart the size of Flava Flav's clock -I recently bought a coconut -I made and wore a necklace made from the medallion off of a bottle of Brut cologne -I jumped off of a bridge into 6 inches of water -I drove a Delta 88 Oldsmobile with a crown air freshener and wondered why the brothers looked at me funny -For one of my first job interviews I was asked what my number one goal was and I told them it was to be the first white guy on Soul Train (got the job)  -I moved to Ireland for a summer without a job and not knowing anyone there -I did a research paper on haircuts -I had a group of grown women carry potted plants, hop across a football field in mesh bags, drag a tire on a rope, well this one can take a while and is ongoing. Probably needs its own page. -I bet everything I had won in Roulette on the green double zero for three reason: 1. It was St. Patrick's Day 2. I'm Irish 3. I'm a dumb a@@ -I wrote all this stuff down for other people to read