1. You like your current workout, but you don't like it, like it.

Hefty, hefty, hefty.

  2. You survived the freshman 15, but now tis the season for the Holiday Hefties. 3. You are a mullet connoisseur.

This picture actually happened. It was 1991! That's practically the 80's man! Get off my party in the back.

  4. You want to be ready to dominate your New Year's Resolution. 5. Macy's keeps leaving messages about you being in some parade with a really long string attached. 6. You are sick of having no strength, no energy, and no fun in your life. 7. You'll get a long sleeve shirt this time dude! 8. You've never experienced the pure joy and exhilaration of wacky jacks before the sun comes up.

Even wackier than this sign

  9. Kids keep sitting on your lap telling you what they want for Christmas. 10. I will pay you $180,000 to come to camp.

Worth every penny

  11. You've never seen a MistleJoe Tree. 12. Holidays=stress, weight gain, and depression  Boot camp=stress busting, weight loss, and mood lifting endorphins 13. Surprises! 14. You like the cut of my jib. 15. What else are doing that early in the morning? Sleeping? Why sleep when you could be up being awesome? 16. I will teach you how to Dougie. 17. It's the number one fitness trend for 2011. Be ahead of the curve. 18.

You need no words for #18

        19. Free haircuts (one style only)

Line up ladies! Won't cost a thing.

  20. One guarantee. No one cares more and wants more for his campers than I do. Ask around.